15 Weirdest things you can buy on Amazon

You’ll find a lot of handy and desirable items when perusing the virtual aisles of Amazon. But, take a wrong turn and you can suddenly find yourself in a bizarre world where unicorns come in cans and beards have bibs. 

We sent our intrepid reporters to find the weirdest things you can buy today on Amazon and here are their results. Beware, you may find some of the images included in this report quite tempting. 

Instant Underpants

We’ve all been there. Out and about, maybe preparing for that big job interview, then suddenly you realise that you’ve inadvertently gone commando. What to do?

Well, with these instant underpants you can save you blushes and still get the job. Simply soak the compressed material in water and they will immediately inflate to become a wearable pair of undercrackers. Yes, they will be a bit damp, but that’s a small price to pay for saving your dignity and netting that ace appointment!  

A big box of nothing

What you you get the person who has everything? How about a big box of nothing? That’s right, you can still fulfil your capitalistic birthday duties all while ensuring that you don’t encumber the recipient with more tat they will never use. 

Save the planet and keep landfills at their current levels by bestowing a box of nothing at every occasion.  

Also check out the best gift experience days you can buy.

A tin of Unicorn meat

Feeling peckish but bored of the usual chicken, beef or spam that lines the shelves of Asda? Why not have a dinner with a difference by cracking open a tin of fresh Unicorn meat? 

All the succulent goodness of these magical creatures condensed into an easy to carry can. Horn not included. 

Horse head mask

Feel like a thoroughbred but your friends and colleagues just don’t appreciate your stamina and athletic prowess? There’s an easy way to fix that – don this horse head mask. 

Go from a regular Joe to the stud of the show with this essential purchase. 

Nap Sack

Tiredness is a serious issue in today’s frantic world. Being able to subtly catch forty winks at work, church or during boring conversations is a must. But how can it be done?

Easy. The Nap Sack is carefully designed product that not only obscures your secret siesta, it also makes it completely impossible for those around you to notice. Just slip it over your head and colleagues will no longer be able to see you, making your doze invisible. 

Mouldy sandwich bags

Use these clever, mouldy bags to stop workplace thieves from purloining your sandwiches when you leave them in the fridge. 

Simply place your fresh BLT into the polythene sheaths decorated with fake mould and let them save your butty from wandering hands. 

Yodelling pickle

The world can be a dark and depressing place at the moment, with brutal politics, climate change, and no more series of The Good Place throwing many people into a cavern of despair. 

Let not all hope drain from your hearts though, as this yodelling pickle can bring purity where before was only filth. A press of his little button summons forth the song of his people and reminds us of times when life was simpler and better days lay ahead. 

Nuns having Fun 2020 wall calendar

When life gets you down, just look at these nuns having a right old laugh and you’ll instantly feel better.

These sisters are no novices when it comes to having a good time, so take inspiration from their roller skating, ice-cream scarfing, motorbike riding antics. It could be a good habit in which to take sanctuary.

Cat Turntable

If you feel that your cat is not expressing itself fully, then maybe what’s missing is one of these purpose built turntables. Let your moggy mix the tunes with a spinnable deck, movable arm, and show its scratching prowess on the record mat. 

Before long, you may find it turns into the next Catvin Harris or DeadMouse. 

Toothpaste squeezers

Frustrated at not being able to get the last bits of toothpaste out of the tube? Well, what you need is a toothpaste squeezer! Pop the bottom of the tube into the roller’s grip, then turn the key to release an appropriate amount of paste. You can even use them as holders, so long as the laws of gravity don’t apply in your bathroom. 

Handerpants

Finally, thanks to these modern marvels, you can now have your hands in your pants wherever you go without shame or the chance of disciplinary action.

Handerpants: pants for your hands!

Pooping animals colouring book

Relax and take a bit of time out from your stressful life with the gentle pursuit of colouring. Use this book to bring the many colours of the rainbow to a wide assortment of animals going for a todd. 

Cowboy rider for dogs

Many is the time that a dog owner has looked at their beloved pet and thought, ‘it’s beautiful, but if only there was a small cowboy riding it like a miniature horse’. Well, think no more! Slip this costume onto your bemused best friend and it will instantly be transformed into a bucking bronco with a little chap in the saddle. 

Smack-a-Sack stress relief

Should you find yourself at the end of your tether then this could be the solution. The leathery sack can be crushed, squeezed, slapped or smacked against the side of a hard surface to alleviate pent up frustration.

Two free stress balls are also included for added succour. They can even be placed inside the sack for safe keeping.   

Dad Bod Bum Bag

Bum bags (fanny packs to our North American cousins) are back in fashion for some inexplicable reason. So, to celebrate their return here’s one that doubles as a spare tire. Just remember when you’re wearing it, as you might try to stuff your iPhone into your own beer belly otherwise.